Summary and Revision

Summary: The narrator found she was cheated by Alex because he had relationships with several women at the same time. The narrator and another three women who was cheated decided to kill Alex. They found Alec and discussed how to kill Alec with Alec.  Finally, they decided to do a manhunt. When they were found them, Alec was flirting with Marlena. Caroline explained the situation to Marlena. Then they four decided strangulation in swamp. Alec dug a grave for himself. Women were watching.

What is working:

1. The story is new and creative.

2.  The characters of the narrator and Alec have some interesting but also confusing contradictions

 What needs to be fixed:

1. The ending is not good. You’d better continue the story and maybe make some of doubtful points clear.

2. I do not know the function of setting a character named Anje in this story. Maybe you have your own reason, i think it would be better if you tell us why or just give us a little bit clues.

3.  I mentioned above some characters’ behaviors are not logical, which i accept them and admit them work sometimes. For example, the aim of women was to kill Alec because he cheated them. It was because they hated Alec very much so that they decided to kill him. However, women were caring of he would feel painful and still thought he was lovely. I think you’d better give us some reasons. We all know that it is good to leave readers some questions and make them to think. But your problem is that you leave toooo much questions to readers which make readers totally confused.

4. A good story is supposed to have a theme or convey an idea. I cannot figure it out in your story. Please think it carefully what you really want to express.